What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
