everyone is single if you try hard enough
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
