Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
