Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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