My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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