i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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