the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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