As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
