Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
