hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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