you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
