So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
