She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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