HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
