i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
