I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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