I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
this is an emotional support booty call
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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