Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
