I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I wish they made helmets for livers.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
