there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
