i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We left the knife in your bed.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
