i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
My penis needs a shock collar
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
