brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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