you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
