My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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