And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
