haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
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