I bet he comes in French.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
