I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
