Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Is it because I queefed?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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