Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
