whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
