I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
