can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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