You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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