i think i have herpe
just one?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
