Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
