glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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