I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I touched a dick in church today
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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