I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
