What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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