i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
soo... how was my night?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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