Sry I called you an 8
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
