It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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