I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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