I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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