We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
