So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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