is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
two words...techno handjob
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
