I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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